Soft Landing NZ

By Brett Corlett | Soft Landing Podcast

Introduction

When I first moved to New Zealand, I expected the excitement of a new life, but I wasn’t prepared for the wave of emotions that came with leaving my home country behind. This emotional process is what many call immigration grief,  a natural response to change, loss, and starting over in an unfamiliar place. In this blog, I’ll share my personal perspective, what immigration grief really means, and how you can work through it if you’re experiencing the same.

Understanding Immigration Grief

Immigration grief is the sense of loss and sadness that comes when you leave your home country and everything familiar behind. It’s not just about missing family and friends, but also the everyday comforts: the food, the language, the culture, and even the way of life you once knew. This grief often comes in waves, sometimes when you least expect it.

My Experience with Immigration Grief

For me, immigration grief showed up in quiet moments. The first time I walked through a New Zealand supermarket and couldn’t find the products I was used to, I felt a deep sense of loss. Holidays felt different, and I missed the traditions that once anchored me. Even small conversations reminded me I was an outsider adjusting to a new culture.

At times, I questioned my decision to move. But over time, I realized these feelings were normal. They were part of the process of letting go of my old identity and building a new one here in New Zealand.

The Stages of Immigration Grief

Like other forms of grief, immigration grief often comes in stages. While not everyone experiences them the same way, many migrants go through stages such as:

– Shock and excitement about the move
– Sadness or homesickness
– Frustration or anger with cultural differences
– Acceptance and adjustment
– A new sense of belonging

It’s important to remember that these stages aren’t linear, you may cycle through them multiple times as you adjust.

How to Cope with Immigration Grief

Coping with immigration grief takes patience and self-compassion. Here are a few strategies that helped me:

– Stay connected with loved ones back home through video calls and messages.
– Create new routines in your new country that bring comfort and stability.
– Allow yourself to grieve without judgment, missing home doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice.
– Seek out communities of other immigrants who understand what you’re going through.
– Explore your new environment with curiosity, not comparison.

Finding Meaning and Belonging

Over time, immigration grief gave way to something else: a deeper appreciation for both where I came from and where I am now. I’ve learned to hold on to traditions from home while embracing new ones in New Zealand. This mix has allowed me to create a richer, more resilient identity.

Final Thoughts

If you’re experiencing immigration grief, know that you’re not alone. It’s a natural part of the immigrant journey. With time, support, and self-awareness, the grief will soften, making space for new growth and belonging. Your story matters, and your feelings are valid and one day, you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come.

🎧 Listen to Episode 18

➡️ https://youtu.be/TnU1ME7LSLE

📢 Stay Connected

I’d love your help.
The Inner Circle App is coming soon — a free space for migrants to connect, learn, and belong in New Zealand. We’d love your input! Help us shape it so it truly supports your needs.

https://forms.gle/FuTEd7cMwv7jzSK56

Follow my Soft Landing podcast and subscribe to my YouTube channel @softlandingnz for real stories, walkthroughs, and practical tips for newcomers to New Zealand. 
📍 All links & platforms: https://linktr.ee/softlandingnz