Reflecting on the journey of rebuilding a sense of home after immigrating to New Zealand.
By Brett Corlett | Soft Landing Podcast
Introduction
Some moments in life make you stop and reflect on how much has changed and how much you’ve had to rebuild.
Recently, my wife and I celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary, and it stirred something in me. It made me look back on our journey from South Africa to New Zealand, and how the meaning of “home” has evolved along the way.
Where Our Story Began — Our First Home in South Africa
I still remember the feeling of walking into the very first house we ever bought as a young couple in South Africa.
It wasn’t fancy. It wasn’t big. We didn’t even have proper furniture at first, camping chairs around a small table, a mattress on the floor, and a TV sitting on a box.
But it was ours.
It was stability.
It was the beginning of our life together, filled with plans, dreams, and the comfort of knowing we were building something for our future family.
Owning a home gave us a sense of identity, pride, and grounding. It was proof that we were moving forward.
Leaving It All Behind — To Start Again in New Zealand
Fast-forward to today: we’ve been in New Zealand almost three years now.
We have residency. Our children are safe. Our lives are more peaceful, and we’re grateful every single day we made the move.
But starting again in a new country, especially later in life, comes with challenges that people don’t talk about enough.
When we immigrated, we didn’t just leave behind a house.
We left behind a foundation, family support, history, equity, career networks, and years of financial stability.
The Silent Struggle Most Immigrants Carry
There’s a part of renting that feels… temporary.
You don’t fully settle.
You hesitate to plant roots too deeply.
You hold back emotionally because it doesn’t feel yours.
As immigrants, we often live with an invisible “in-between identity” for years. We’re here… but not fully anchored yet.
And there’s a fear many of us don’t say out loud:
“Will I ever truly feel at home again? Will I ever own a home in New Zealand?”
The Mindset Shift I’ve Had to Make
Home ownership in New Zealand is vastly different to South Africa, financially, emotionally, and culturally.
Comparing the two only leads to frustration, so I’ve had to shift my mindset:
- I’m not “starting from zero” — I’m starting from experience.
- Belonging isn’t only created by bricks and walls — it starts with community, contribution, connection.
- Home is built step by step again, just like the first time — with patience.
This mindset shift has helped me breathe again.
The Unique Challenge for Immigrants
We start behind locals, not because we are less capable, but because:
- We arrive without generational support
- We lose our financial base when we leave
- We restart careers, networks, and credit systems
- We are building two lives: the one we left and the one we are creating
And yet, we expect ourselves to “catch up” instantly.
We need to give ourselves grace.
Rebuilding takes time.
My Next Chapter — And an Invitation
I’ve decided to confront this dream head-on.
Not privately, but openly, so others can learn with me.
Over the coming months, I’ll be working with Ivandee Fitchet from Migrant Financial Services to explore what it really takes to buy a home in New Zealand as an immigrant, realistically and sustainably.
And I want to share everything I learn with you.
I won’t pretend it’s easy.
But I believe it’s possible and easier when we learn together.
Final Thoughts — You’re Not Alone
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering whether you’ll truly belong here, or whether you’ll ever feel rooted again… please know this:
You’re not the only one feeling this way.
Your journey is valid.
Your progress counts.
And one day, when you turn the key in a door that’s finally yours, in a country you chose for your family… it will all make sense.
🎧 Listen to Episode 23
📢 Stay Connected
I’d love your help.
The Inner Circle App is coming soon — a free space for migrants to connect, learn, and belong in New Zealand. We’d love your input! Help us shape it so it truly supports your needs.
https://forms.gle/FuTEd7cMwv7jzSK56
Follow my Soft Landing podcast and subscribe to my YouTube channel @softlandingnz for real stories, walkthroughs, and practical tips for newcomers to New Zealand.
📍 All links & platforms: https://linktr.ee/softlandingnz
Soft Landing NZ 
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