Soft Landing NZ

Introduction: Picking Up the Story

I started my podcast almost a year ago with one simple goal, to share our journey of moving to New Zealand honestly. What worked, what didn’t, and what we wished someone had told us. The aim was never to sugar‑coat the experience, but to help others have a softer landing.

If you’ve listened to Episodes 1, 2, 3, 4 and 6 of the podcast, you’ll know our story up until roughly the first nine to twelve months of being here. But what I realised recently is that I’ve never really shared what happened after that point. And a lot happened.

Almost a Year In: When You Think You’re Finding Your Feet

By the end of our first year, we thought we were starting to get into a rhythm. We had a rental, our container had arrived, the kids were settling, and we were approaching our first Christmas in New Zealand. From the outside, it probably looked like things were finally falling into place.

But behind the scenes, reality hit hard.

The Guilt of Being Far Away When Family Needs You

Towards the end of 2023, around October or November, we received news that completely rocked us. My sister‑in‑law had been diagnosed with cancer.

There’s no easy way to describe what that feels like when you’ve just moved to the other side of the world. The guilt of not being there. The helplessness. The constant questioning of whether you’ve made the right decision.

It was especially hard for my wife. This was her sister. Her family. And on top of that, my mother‑in‑law, who had been living with us in South Africa, was now staying with my sister‑in‑law because we couldn’t bring her with us to New Zealand.

So now the person who was meant to be caring for my mother‑in‑law was suddenly the one who needed care herself.

Cancer Brings Back Old Fears

I’ve had cancer myself, so hearing that diagnosis brought back a flood of memories. I know the denial. The fear. The mental battle that comes before the physical one even starts.

And knowing what lay ahead for her, chemo, treatment, exhaustion, while also carrying family responsibilities made it even harder to accept that we couldn’t just get on a plane and go home.

Financial Reality and Impossible Choices

We asked ourselves all the hard questions. Could my wife go back to South Africa to support them? The reality was, financially, we just couldn’t.

We had spent everything getting here. We were still stabilising. My wife wasn’t working yet. The kids had only just settled into school and kindy. I was the sole income earner.

Stopping my wife from going back, even though it broke her heart, is one of the hardest things we’ve had to face.

Work Stress and the Fear of Losing It All

As if that wasn’t enough, I found out at work that we were heading into a restructure and consultation period. A new manager had arrived, and suddenly my role felt uncertain.

When you’re an immigrant, job security hits differently. This wasn’t just about career progression, this was about keeping food on the table and a roof over our kids’ heads.

So I started applying for jobs. Rejection after rejection. Silence after applications. And that little voice creeping in asking: *Am I even good enough to make it here?*

Then the Rental Fell Through

To top it all off, our landlord told us they were moving back into the house. We had to find another rental, right before Christmas.

Anyone who’s been through this knows how brutal that timing is. Everything shuts down. Viewings dry up. Stress skyrockets.

Holding It Together for the Kids

Through all of this, we still had to show up for our kids. Christmas lights. Santa. Normal routines.

You smile, but inside you’re exhausted, emotionally and physically. You snap when you don’t mean to. You feel guilty for being short‑tempered. And yet you keep going.

What Got Us Through

I don’t even know how we got through that period, but we did.

It took grit. Communication. And constantly reminding ourselves why we moved here in the first place, our kids.

They were thriving. And on the hardest days, that was enough to keep pushing forward.

If You’re in the Thick of It Right Now

If you’re reading this and you’re in your first year, or even your second, and everything feels overwhelming, I want you to know this: you’re not alone.

Immigrating is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. The emotions. The doubt. The guilt. It’s all normal.

Don’t give up. Communicate with your partner. Find small outlets that help you cope. For me, it was walking, the gym, and reminding myself what I was grateful for.

You CAN get through this.

🎧 Watch the full conversation on YouTube:

What’s Next

This is just part one of continuing our story. There’s more to share, and I will.

If you ever need to reach out, even just for a chat, please do. Sometimes talking is enough.

We’ll pick this up again soon.

📢Stay Connected

Follow my Soft Landing podcast and subscribe to my YouTube channel @softlandingnz for real stories, walkthroughs, and practical tips for newcomers to New Zealand. 📍 All links & platforms: https://linktr.ee/softlandingnz

Looking for a support and a community in New Zealand?

Join our Soft Landing Inner Circle Community.