After more than three years of living in New Zealand, I can honestly say moving here has been one of the best decisions we’ve made for our family.
I’d do it again tomorrow.
But I’d do it knowing what I know now.
And maybe that’s the point of this post.
If you’re sitting somewhere in South Africa, India, the UK, the US, or anywhere else in the world dreaming about a future in New Zealand, I want to share a few things I wish I had understood before we made the move.
Not because I think New Zealand isn’t worth it.
Quite the opposite.
I love it here.
I genuinely believe this country has given our family opportunities, experiences and a quality of life that we may not have had otherwise.
But immigration is funny.
Before you move, you spend months—sometimes years—researching all the practical stuff.
Visas.
Residency pathways.
Jobs.
Schools.
Housing.
Finances.
And all of those things matter.
You absolutely need to understand them.
But what I’ve realised over the last few years is that some of the biggest challenges—and some of the biggest lessons—have nothing to do with any of those things.
They’re the things you don’t always see on Immigration New Zealand’s website.
The things that don’t show up in a spreadsheet.
The things you only really understand once you’re living them.
The trade-offs.
Because every big life decision comes with trade-offs.
And moving to New Zealand is no different.
There are things you’ll gain.
There are things you’ll lose.
There are things that will surprise you.
Some of them will be easier than you expected.
Some will be harder.
So this isn’t a post about whether you should or shouldn’t move to New Zealand.
Only you can answer that.
This is simply me sharing my experience, the things I’ve learnt, and the realities that don’t always get talked about enough.
My hope is that it helps you make a more informed decision and go into this journey with your eyes wide open.
One of the biggest trade-offs for me has been family.
Before we moved, I knew we were going to be far away. I understood that. New Zealand is literally on the other side of the world from where we came from.
But knowing something and living it are two very different things.
What I didn’t fully appreciate was what that distance would actually feel like.
You can’t just pop home for a weekend.
You can’t jump on a cheap flight when you miss someone.
You can’t easily be there when something important happens.
And when life gets tough, that’s when you feel it the most.
Back home, if the kids were sick, work was stressful, or life just felt overwhelming, there were people around you. Family. Friends. People who knew you well enough to notice when something wasn’t right.
Here, it’s different.
Yes, you can pick up the phone.
Yes, you can video call.
But sometimes you don’t need a video call.
Sometimes you just want a hug from your mum.
A coffee with your sister.
A beer with your best mate.
Someone who knows you without you having to explain everything.
And that’s one of the parts of immigration that I don’t think gets talked about enough.
The emotional side of being so far away from the people who have always been your support system.
The same thing applies during special occasions.
Christmas used to be noisy.
Family everywhere.
People coming and going.
Traditions you’d followed for years.
Now Christmas is quieter.
Not bad.
Just different.
The same goes for Easter, birthdays and all those occasions that used to bring everyone together.
You start realising that a lot of those moments weren’t really about the event itself.
They were about the people.
And when those people aren’t there anymore, you feel it.
Another thing I’ve had to adjust to is the pace of life.
People often talk about New Zealand having a slower pace, and I think that’s true in many ways.
There are things I genuinely love about it.
People value family.
Work-life balance matters.
There isn’t always that pressure to be chasing the next thing.
But there are also moments where things move slower than what I was used to.
Healthcare is probably one of the best examples.
Now before anyone jumps on me, I actually think New Zealand has a good healthcare system.
I’ve experienced firsthand how much the doctors, nurses and healthcare professionals genuinely care.
The public healthcare system works.
You can debate how well it works, and everyone has an opinion, but compared to many places around the world, there is real support available.
The challenge is that New Zealand is a very small country.
We’ve got around five and a half million people.
That means fewer doctors.
Fewer specialists.
Fewer resources.
And when there aren’t enough specialists available, things take time.
Even private healthcare can involve waiting.
Not necessarily because people don’t care or because the system is broken, but simply because there aren’t enough people available to meet demand.
That’s something I didn’t fully understand before moving here.
The same thing applies in other areas too.
New Zealand often feels more relaxed.
Decisions can take longer.
Things don’t always happen at the pace I was used to.
Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing depends on your perspective.
I’ve had to learn that not everything needs to be rushed.
At the same time, there are definitely moments where I still catch myself thinking, “Come on, let’s get moving.”
Career has been another interesting one.
Back in South Africa, I’d spent nearly twenty years building relationships, building a reputation and building a network.
Then we moved.
And suddenly nobody knew who I was.
I still had the experience.
I still had the skills.
But all those relationships I’d spent years building stayed behind.
You start again.
And that’s harder than people realise.
New Zealand is a much smaller market.
There are fewer companies.
Fewer opportunities in some industries.
And because it’s smaller, relationships matter even more.
People know people.
Networks matter.
Reputation matters.
As immigrants, we have to build all of that from scratch.
I’ve also noticed differences in workplace culture.
This is only my experience, but I find many people here are very clear about their role, their responsibilities and their work hours.
People generally value balance.
They work their day.
They go home.
And they spend time with their families.
There’s a lot to admire about that.
But if you’re someone who’s used to constantly pushing, taking on extra responsibilities and trying to move ahead, it can take some adjusting.
You may have heard people talk about tall poppy syndrome.
Whether that’s fair or not, there are definitely times where standing out too much can create friction.
It’s just a different culture.
Neither right nor wrong.
Just different.
And part of settling here is learning how those differences work.
Then there’s the cost of living.
Let’s be honest.
It’s expensive.
Housing is expensive.
Food is expensive.
Many imported goods are expensive.
And when you first arrive, that can be a shock.
I still remember looking at the price of avocados when they were out of season and thinking there is absolutely no way I’m paying that much for a single avo.
Now I just buy them when they’re in season.
It’s a silly example, but it’s also a good reminder that living here requires some adjustments.
We’re a small island nation.
A lot of products have to be imported.
That costs money.
The housing market is expensive.
Especially in places like Auckland.
For many immigrants there’s another challenge too.
You’re often starting over financially.
You’ve spent money to move.
You may have taken a step back in your career.
You may have converted your savings from a weaker currency.
You’re trying to rebuild while simultaneously dealing with a high cost of living.
That isn’t always easy.
Can you build a fantastic life here?
Absolutely.
I’ve seen plenty of people do it.
But I think it’s important to arrive with realistic expectations.
The last trade-off I want to talk about is friendship and community.
Because I think this one catches people off guard.
Making friends as an adult is hard.
Making friends as an immigrant can be even harder.
Most Kiwis I’ve met have been incredibly friendly.
But friendliness and friendship aren’t always the same thing.
Many people already have established friendship circles.
School friends.
University friends.
Friends they’ve known for decades.
Breaking into those circles can take time.
You have to put yourself out there.
You have to join things.
Attend events.
Say yes to invitations.
Start conversations.
And sometimes you’ll make connections that don’t go anywhere.
Sometimes you’ll invest time into friendships that never really develop.
That’s normal.
But it’s still hard.
Because back home you already had your people.
The friends you could call when life got messy.
The people who knew your story.
The people who would tell you when you were being an idiot.
Those friendships don’t instantly exist when you arrive.
You have to build them again.
And that takes time.
It’s one of the reasons I’m so passionate about community and why Soft Landing exists in the first place.
Because immigration is hard enough without trying to do it alone.
When I look at the people who seem to be thriving here, I notice something interesting.
It’s not always the people earning the highest salaries.
It’s not always the people who had the easiest immigration journey.
The people who thrive seem to be the people who embrace New Zealand.
They don’t forget where they’ve come from.
They don’t lose their identity.
But they stop comparing everything to home.
They stop looking backwards.
They start building forwards.
They embrace the culture.
They build friendships.
They create community.
They learn new ways of doing things.
And slowly, New Zealand stops feeling like a place they moved to.
It starts feeling like home.
That’s probably the biggest lesson I’ve learnt.
You don’t need to forget where you came from.
But you do need to embrace where you are.
So if you’re considering moving to New Zealand, don’t just look at the visa pathways.
Don’t just look at salaries.
Don’t just look at residency options.
Think about the whole picture.
Think about what you’re hoping to gain.
Think about what you’re willing to give up.
Think about whether the reasons you’re leaving outweigh the challenges you’ll face when you arrive.
Because New Zealand is an incredible country.
But it isn’t perfect.
Nowhere is.
The goal isn’t to find perfection.
The goal is to find the place that gives your family the best opportunity to build the life you want.
For us, that’s been New Zealand.
Even with all the trade-offs, I’m grateful every day that we made the move.
And if sharing my experience helps you make a more informed decision for your own family, then that’s exactly why I continue to pay it forward.
Want help figuring this out?
IIf there’s one thing I’ve learnt through this journey, it’s that immigration isn’t something you should try to figure out alone.
There are so many moving parts.
The practical stuff like visas, finances and jobs.
But also the emotional side of leaving family, building a new support network and creating a life from scratch in a new country.
That’s exactly why I created the Soft Landing Inner Circle Community.
Not to tell you what decision to make, but to help you make an informed one.
Inside the community, we help people:
• Understand their financial reality and what a move could look like for their family
• Build a realistic timeline and action plan
• Connect with trusted partners and professionals
• Learn from others who are going through the same journey
• Ask questions in a supportive community that genuinely understands what you’re experiencing
If you’re still exploring your options or trying to work out whether New Zealand is the right move for your family, you’re welcome to join us.
It’s completely free.
Click here to join the Soft Landing Inner Circle Community.
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